RUMBLE

Yeah we had an earthquake here in Lovely Los Angeles today. And naturally, everyone is running around in a panic. Certain brain dead people I work with immediately ran up to the huge 30 foot high plate glass window in my office which looks into our 5 storey high atrium. I could see other morons on the 2nd and 3rd floor looking out their floor-to cieling plate windows as well.

The quake was a 5.8 and went on for , it felt like, about 10 seconds or so. a long roll and a big jolt jolt jolt.

cell phone and land lines immediately went dead.

back to normal now, though.

ASSISTACE NEEDED

I was bored at work today, soI decided to take up one of those marvelous million dollar offers from one of those nice South African banks.

I can’t wait to get my millions!!!! Happy days!!!

Read his slightly edited letter, then read my gracious and enthusiastic response.

FROM, THE DESK OF DR AHMED ISSA

BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
BANK OF AFRICA,
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.

Greetings! For this letter is strictly
personal, intimate and confidential. Forgive this unusual manner of contacting you, but this
particular letter is of exceptional and very private nature.
There is no way for me to know
whether I will be properly understood, but it is my duty to write and reach out to you. For I know
that you are the only one that can be trusted to handle this project effectively without making us
regret.
I am the manager bill and exchange of the foreign remittance department, Bank of
Africa, I am trusting this transaction to you, that you will handle it with sincerity and without
any problems. In my department file, I discovered an abandoned sum of US $15.6m(Fifteen  million,
six hundred thousand US Dollars) in an account, belonging to one of our bank’s foreign customer
who died along with his family in October 31, 1999 in a plane crash.
Since I got information
about his death, I have done a lot of investigations and verifications to confirm if anyone such
as a next of kin or relative of the deceased has called to claim the inheritance fund.
These
is because, the bank cannot release it to anyone, unless somebody applies for the fund as next of
kin or business partner to the deceased as it is indicated in our banking laws and guidelines Bla bla blais therefore upon
this discovery that I have decided to make this Business proposal to you as a foreigner, for you
to assist and stand as the next of kin (business partner), to the deceased person and subsequent
disbursement will be made into your designated account, since nobody is coming to claim the
inheritance fund and this money must not go into the bank’s treasury as unclaimed bill, bla bla bla,

 such fund will be automatically
transferred and deposited in the bank’s treasury as Unclaimed fund.
The request of a
foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that, It is more convincing
when a foreigner stands in.

 Bla bla bla  -EDIT -

 I will send to you by fax or e-mail a suitable text of the
application letter. I will not also, fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch
free and you do not need to entertain any fear as all possible loop-holes from where there might
be a problem, has been taken care of, I believe, by the Merciful Grace of God.
You should contact me immediately you receive my letter through my telephone or e-mail.
Waiting on  your assistance.
Yours faithfully,

 

Dr.Ahmed Issa

And HERE, dear readers, Is my response to the esteemed and most honorable  Dr. Issa:

From:

“Rich” <richc764@yahoo.com>

Add sender to Contacts

To:

ahmed_issa@uymail.com

My Dear Dr.Issa,
How kind of you indeed to consider me for this important (and lucrative!) task!
I must tell you, Sir, that your selection of me must indeed be quite prescient, as you will no doubt agree. I am, as you may already know, a lifelong devoted (and always hungry! lol!) cannibal.
I consulted with my diary, and on October 31 1999 I did indeed capture and subsequently eat several plane crash victims who were stranded in my jungle area. Your bank depositor was most likely among the ingested, as he identified himself, and your name was mentioned as well. Good fortune, no?
I am most anxious to meet with you very soon to discuss the particulars of our transaction. Would you please join me soon for lunch? Please email me your address information and I will send one of my acolytes to collect you. Unfortunately I cannot come to you,as my dietary habits render me somewhat of an outlaw. My jungle home is secret, so you must agree to be bound and blindfolded. I regret this most intractible demand.
Yours in great anticipation
Dr.Hans Zarkoff

 

MAGNETISM

 

You’ve got to love …LOVE the pathetic irony here. Can the repigs invent any more ways to fail miserably? I love the bavarian cutout characters. I bet that the secret service had a blast with those.

Cry me a frikkin river

I‘ve been so busy at work lately it’s hard to post, but I’m making more of an effort.

At least at the moment I am.

I finished my ENTERPRISE PROJECT. FINALLY. 6 months, 4 exacto blade finger slashes, 10 cans of irridescent spray paint, and every last nerve of mine later, it’s done. Here are a couple of thumbs. click to enlarge and shit.

I’m a geek, but damn! I’m talented.

You can see more pics of it, as well as my other replicas here:

http://s152.photobucket.com/albums/s167/richc764/Refit%201701%20Beauty%20Shots/

 

                      *              *              *               *

So poor, poor widdle Senator McGoo is cwying that the meanies in the corporate media dont wike him anymowe!!! Poor Senator McPuddle is upset because the whole free world ( and a helluva lot of the un-free world) is enthralled with Obama’s charisma, intelligence, and eloquence.

…And no one likes him! McGoo and his goons are complaining because yesterday, when he landed at his campain spot in buttfuckwalla nowheresville, there was only one cameraman, one reporter and a lemonade cart to greet him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even though they are nothing but repulsive reptilian republicans, I almost feel sorry for them all.

Well, on second thought, no I don’t.

 

                       *                 *                  *                 *                   *

Liddy Dole has been confirmed to be the mother of the Joker. No kidding. except she’s more unhinged than he is. I mean, look at it her. This old troglodyte has proposed renaming the HIV/AIDS bill after…

…. you won’t believe this, you really won’t….

Jesse Helms.

That’s like renaming the Simon Weisenthal centre after Dr. Josef Mengele.

Or A major east coast airport after Ronald Reagan, the man who’s administration single handedly clubbed the U.S. airline/FAA infrastructure into a 20 year decline which is now utterly collapsing the system from within.

Oh wait. They DID name an airport after him. Christ!

 

                       *                     *                       *               *                        *

I went to visit a friend last night at Cedars Sinai hospital in Beverly Hills.

It’s easily the most ginormous, super opulent mega luxury hotel I’ve ever been in, and it’s a fuckin HOSPITAL!

If you’ve never heard of it, it’s THE hospital to be seen leaving after your celebrity detox/suicide attempt/facelift . Only the best of the mega rich best go there. Just to get in you have to pass three security gauntlets and provide EXACT patient name info and wear an I.D.badge (pictured) or you DO NOT GET IN.

Inside each room is a plasma tv. In every hallway and elevator lobby hang works of art any city museum would envy. However, it was weird. Hanging in one hallway, right next to some oxygen tanks, was one of Joni Mitchell’s gold records.

I wonder if some of the past patients were short on funds and had to pay with personal memorabilia?

All of the wards and buildings are named after, presumably, celebrity donors.

There’s the Burns and Allen center, The Steven Speilberg building.

I didnt see the Uncle Miltie wing, but I’ll bet it’s there – next to the Desi- Lucy lung cancer ward. 

As we were walking along outside, Dave noticed, in the soil under the bushes all along the walkway in front of the main tower, little pot plants growing everywhere. We counted about 8 plants.

Maybe that was Cheech Marins donation.

 

Shady Soldier

The Dark Knight [2008]

d- Christopher Nolan

w-Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan

I wrote the following on the IMDB message board. I saw this movie on Saturday morning. Britney Sat 5 rows in front of me, with a bunch of brats. They came in about 4 minutes after the previews started to roll. I never would have known who it was, but everyone in the theatre started whispering “oooh it’s Britney Britney Britney Britney” ad nauseum.

 

Anyway, here’s the entry:

Yeah, I’m one of those.
Over 40 and into old movies. Black and white, even. I loathe cgi shit sprees. I take a pass on most of this “summer” garbage that passes for cinema these days.
This one, however, is different. I saw it for the Heath Ledger hype.
So, here are my criticisms, for what they’re worth. To start with, the film is too long, and lacks structure. By that I mean a first, second, third act, climax and out. This film has almost no coherent structure after the first hour. There is simply too much going on in it. Much dialog from secondary characters was drowned out or rushed and was thus incomprehesible. This, however, will probably improve on a second viewing. Much as I liked the always excellent Aaron Eckhart, I feel that the whole Harvey Dent subplot should have been saved for another film. It takes away focus and prolongs the movie. It should have ended about 40 minutes earlier. Moreover, this is a film which demands to be taken seriously on it’s own terms as  realistic. It breaks faith with that too many times.  For example, expecting the audience to believe that a man can survive the devouring of half of his head by whatever method and, after refusing all medication just waltz around town blowing people up, manhandling women and children, all while suffering little or no trauma, is absurd. His naked right eye and facial tissues suffered prolonged exposure to the air without experiencing either infection or at least dry eye.  Suspension of disbelief is one thing, but this film begs to be taken seriously. In such a case, it cannot engage in such silliness. Another example is the business about having a device which can turn every cellphone in Gothham City into a massive, co-ordinated(and, of course, instantly comprehensible and controllable) sonar “eye” was a bit far fetched. I got the symbolism in drawing  a parallel between the Bush crime family’s real-life abuse of power and violation of our rights, and Batman’s hesitation of using similar methods. The moral is drawn, but the example was too muddled and far-fetched.

Maggie Gyllenhaal’s performance as Rachel Dawes, the love interest, was very good. She has a magnetic presence, and her performance is thoughtful and believable. She is interesting to watch. I realise that if my advice about Harvey Dent were taken, the whole love triangle would collapse. Good. Let’s find something else for an interesting female lead to do in a comic book flick.

Christian Bale is fine in his role. The character of Batman is made much more interesting and complex, for what it is.

Heath Ledger’s performance is all that it’s hyped as. From the absolutely brilliant opening scenes his is definitely THE performance of the film. I don’t think it’s hyperbole to say that this performance will go down in cinema history as one of the definitive villains of all time. The instantly iconic pencil scene belongs up there with Cagney and the grapefruit, DeNiro and the baseball bat (or mirror, for that matter). If I were to put the Joker in a cell with the Wicked Witch of the West and Darth Vader, I’d bet on the Joker as the only one who comes out.

I know this review is a little schizophrenic, but It’s kind of a schizophrenic film. It’s hard to suss out. To summarize, I enjoyed it. It gave me something to think about. I’ll see it again. I’m grateful, if bitterly so, for Ledger’s performance. Bitter because he’s gone.

In “Jurassic Park”, Jeff Goldblum’s character said something profound that can be applied to many, many things in life, and it seems to me especially to the cgi technology being used in motion pictures today, not to aid in storytelling, but to dictate it. That saying was” Just because you CAN do it doesn’t mean that you SHOULD“

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

      

look it up in Webster’s

Main Entry:

hy·poc·ri·sy

Pronunciation:

\hi-ˈpä-krə-sē also hī-\

Function:

noun

Inflected Form(s):

plural hy·poc·ri·sies

Etymology:

Middle English ypocrisie, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin

EXAMPLE: 

Senator’s Supporters Are Invited to Lunch With a Lord

The Washington Post

Saturday, March 15, 2008; Page A06

 

Sen. John McCain plans at least one campaign event on his week-long congressional trip to Europe and the Middle East: a March 20 fundraiser in London. An invitation sent out by the campaign says the luncheon will be held at Spencer House, St. James’s Place, “by kind permission of Lord Rothschild OM GBE and the Hon Nathaniel Rothschild.” Tickets to the invitation-only event cost $1,000 to $2,300. Attire is listed as “lounge suits.”

*SNIP* 

McCain says Obama Europe trip amounts to politics

Thu Jul 17, 2008 6:36pm EDTBy Steve Holland

GRAND HAVEN, Michigan (Reuters) – Republican presidential candidate John McCain said on Thursday he believes Democrat Barack Obama’s upcoming trip to Europe is tantamount to holding political rallies abroad.

McCain, speaking to reporters, also ridiculed Obama’s vow to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq in 16 months as risking losing the hard-fought gains won by U.S. soldiers under a troop build-up ordered 18 months ago.

Obama is soon to leave on a trip that will take him to Europe and the Middle East. At some stage the trip is also expected to take him to Iraq and Afghanistan, the two thorniest foreign policy challenges that will face the next president.

McCain sought to clarify remarks he made on his campaign bus in Kansas City, Missouri, in which he said he disagreed with his communications director, Jill Hazelbaker, who told the Fox News Channel that Obama’s trip is “the first of its kind campaign rally overseas.”

The McCain campaign had emailed out Hazelbaker’s statement.

McCain said he did not consider Obama’s upcoming visits to Iraq and Afghanistan political, saying he had offered to go with Obama. But Obama’s other stops abroad, he said, seemed to have a political element, particularly a planned event at Germany’s Brandenburg Gate.

“If he’s going to have a rally at the Brandenburg Gate, which is what is being publicly stated — of course if you have political rallies, it’s a political event,” he said.

 

*SNIP*

 

Well maybe the senile old fuck forgot about his own campaign trip to Europe. He is 112 years old.

F * R * E * A * K

Sweet baby jeezis, is this really the best that the republigoons can do? Really? This pasty mcgoo, in case you haven’t noticed, is swan diving into dementia by the day. Did you read about his disjointed, incoherent comments at a meeting of Google pinheads? He was bragging..BRAGGING that he graduated from annapolis in the BOTTOM 10 OF HIS CLASS! Of course, Barack Obama guaduated MAGNA CUM LAUDE from Harvard Law school. So who’s the better choice? is it REALLY a question?  During the same bizarre speech where the repiglican candidate bragged of his low educational history, he appeared disjointed, his speech slurred. Almost as if he’d suffered a series of strokes. Good lord, if he does have a stroke, who will be able to tell?  He’s already such a mess. The guy looks 85 easily.

Then there was his creepy, skewfucked body language when a reporter asked him to comment why he voted to support insurance compensation for viagra but not for birth control. He seemed genuinely confused, as if he couldn’t understand at first what she was talking about. Then, he tightened up as if someone was shoving a hot poker up his ass. He got all corkscrewed, twisting and torquing his body around.

If this dumbass country is stupid enough to actually elect yet another republican fucktard, then it deserves to fall into economic chaos. Oh wait! We already have, because too many stupid fucks voted that asshat dumb-as-paint monkeynuts to a second term.

dogshit

oh wow.
I just got the most incredible backhanded slap on one of the bear sites, it’s unbelievable.

This local guy who’s always been hot for all of my friends at the eagle but very cool towards me must’ve found my page there.
He just IM’d me asking if I was going to Lazybear this year.

I know why he was asking.

He doesn’t give a rats orgasm if I’m going, he was trying to find out if THEY were. you see, none of them have pages on that site.
So I replied “no, but some of the others will be there.”

His reply?

Priceless.

It was

“cool”

glad to know i’ll be missed. Jesus!

Happy Friday

Now go throw up.