Anyone who’s ever spent much time in a gym knows who this guy is. He’s the ever present gym guy. He’s there all the time. He’s not a trainer, so he doesn’t work there. He’s just ….there. Ever present. He’s not too tall, nor is he short. He’s neither extremely muscular, nor is he fat. Or skinny. He’s just … the gym guy.
Recently, I missed a regular workout, so I decided to go in on Saturday night for a quick workout. I figured it would be nice and quiet at the gym, seeing as it was after 8pm on a Saturday night. And indeed it was. Just about nobody was there. Except of course for…The Gym Guy. Inexplicably he was there, doing what vaguely looked like a leg routine. He always seems to inhabit one corner of the gym, no matter what he seems to be working, which is always sort of vague.
Then I got to musing. Suppose he’s not really there? Suppose he’s a phantom, stuck between dimensions, in some kind of mobius loop alternate quantum universe? After all, does he ever seem changed at all? Does he ever alternate clothing choices or hairstyle? Does he ever get bigger or smaller, or more or less ripped? Come to think of it, I’d never noticed. He always seems to be wearing the same vague outfit. He seems always to be just…The Gym Guy.
I’ve never spoken to him, although I’m reasonably sure he’s a sister. He’s sort of vaguely gay, in a metrosexual,West Hollywood sort of clonish way. Perhaps one day I’ll actually speak to him and find out. I’m rather shy and not too chatty in the gym, as most of the guys are either straight, muscle headed boob sorts with no discernable redeeming personal qualities, or they’re totally uninterested weho type homos with absolutely no time for middle aged bear types. But in the mean time, there is always and forever the gym guy.
And I can guarantee you, he’s there now.