intolerance Propaganda from my Mother

Happy Mother’s day!

Recently, I was on the phone with my mom, and I was having one of those days where the fact that I have nobody close in my life and I’m going to grow old and die alone was sort of getting to me, so I unwisely confided a bit of my loneliness to her. Bad call. She immediately saw it as an opportunity to assail me again with her ex gay campaign.

My Mother is of the mistaken belief that Homosexuality is both sinful, wrong and correctible. If I wont correct it, then I must suppress it, according to her.

back in the old days before I realized that her view was completely impervious to enlightenment, due to her core deep religious indoctrination, I used to try to reason it with her. Her basic argument is that Homosexuality itself is not evil. However, any and all expression of it, including any affection or love for another man is evil, on the grounds that it does not promote promulgation of the species. So, using that basis for argument, I would ask her these questions:

#1 Are you currently capable of becoming pregnant? (no)

#2 Given the fact that you are no longer able to breed, are you still having sexual relations with your husband? ( of course!)

#3 Why?

Given the basis of her argument, why would it be okfor her to have sex with no hope of children? what about couples who are sterile? Her answer is always that it is an expression of their holy love for each other. she is unable or unwilling to see the enormous cruelty and hypocrisy of those beliefs. And it hurts me. Deeply.

The point of all this is, I wanted to share with you and get your thoughts about the package she sent me in the mail last week as a result of our phone conversation. Look at this:


It’s a 3 disc cd she sent me. here’s the description:

this is an excellent example of the soft bigotry that we as gay men face with catholocism. “hate the sin but love the sinner” bullshit. I  have not heard these discs. I doubt I ever will.  I’ve been using the CD case fora coffee mug trivet (see coffee stain in the lower right corner) .  That’s about all it’s good for. 

I know that when I finish this post I’m going to call her for Mother’s day and she’s going to ask me what I thought of them. What should I tell her?


5 responses to “intolerance Propaganda from my Mother

  1. Rich: Aren’t you being a little hard on Catholicism? I write this as one who is not in the Roman Church!!! I have hear Fr. Groeshel numerous times, and would not call him bigoted at all.

    In fact, in your area, I know of an Anglo-Catholic parish where the priest would regularly visit the Aids hospices in the area. That hardly strikes me as bigoted, given the bigots I know of want nothing to do with those toward whom they are bigoted!

    It would be great if this short post would give you cause to think. Take care! CB

  2. “Rich: Aren’t you being a little hard on Catholicism?”
    No, I am not. I grew up in a devout catholic household and spent many years with both immediate family and with first cousins who are fundamentalist catholics, so I know all about them and their beliefs.
    But let me quote their leader, the new ambassador from the dark ages, Pope Benedict XVI:
    ”The various forms of the dissolution of matrimony today, like free unions, trial marriages and going up to pseudo-matrimonies by people of the same sex, are rather expressions of an anarchic freedom that wrongly passes for true freedom of man.”
    and worse:
    ”Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development.”
    Um, these are the words of their leader, so I think it’s safe to say that he represents the beliefs of his flock (of idiots).
    Can you really tell me that a religion that condemns thousands of wonderful unions of men and women as dangerous and wrong, is anything but backward, bigoted and wrong itself?

  3. Rich: Thanks for the rapid answer! While I do disagree with some of your opinions, I do respect those that are well-reasoned. I am not Roman, nor am I into your lifestyle. That said, the backwardness of the pope is evident in his refusal to all Priests and Bishops to marry! Anyway, thanks again. CB

  4. Rich,
    I feel you on this dude. I have been actively out for almost 20 years, and my mom still threats my being gay like I am just going through a phase. Sometimes the people we love never come to terms with it, and though it’s hard, we have to learn to live with with that fact as much as they have to be able to live with us being who we are instead of who they want us to be.

  5. yeah I know she’ll never understand. she’s 75 and has lived her whole life sheltered from the real world. the church is her life, and she surrounds herself with only republican, conservative views. There’s even a portrait of Bush on our mantlepiece back home. I usually just humor her as if she’s a retarded kid or something.

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