Best Buy in Beautiful Burbank

So I was at Best Buy in beautiful downtown Burbank looking for the new release of “Deliverance” (1972 D-John Boorman DP-Vilmos Zsigmond) and there was no one else around the DVD aisles but me and this tall old geezer in baggy droopy pants and an unkempt untucked shirt. His hair was all white n wild and he had a scraggy beard.

He looked familiar, in that Hollywood way.

Oh.

Bruce Dern.

O.K.

So I kinda followed him around a bit, very surrepetitiously, since I’d not be caught dead paying attention to a celebrity. I wanted to see what DVD’s he was getting. He didn’t pick anything. So I wondered… When Movie stars buy their own movies, are they self conscious? I guess he could get away with buying Laura Dern movies. Lat time I was at that Best Buy, I saw that tall actor whose name I can’t remember who was in
“The DaVinci Code” as that crazy albino monk. Can’t remember his name. I guess I could IMDB him, but I’m lazy and indifferent. He’s much taller in person than I thought he’d be.

The other day at the Eagle, I had a major troll experience moment. There’s this unspeakably awful troll who looks to be the end product of an unholy mother/brother lust who haunts the Eagle on a far too regular basis. I was standing on the patio balcony and he was below in the patio yard area blathering into his cell phone. It was Sunday afternoon. There were few people present. Suddenly, he just dropped his pants and continued his conversation. No underwear. We all instinctivly shielded our faces, much as you would shield your nose when a sudden draft of outhouse hits your nostrils. The moment passes. Life resumes. Several minutes pass. Mr. 12 fingers approaches me. “Hey pipe man!” He says “Did I just drop my pants in front of everyone just now?” I shot him a steely stare, carefully removed my pipe and simply said “Yes.”

“Oh. Why’ja suppose I did that?”He said. “The guy I was havin phone sex with couldna even see me”.  The guy standing nearby does a half turn, a look of incredulity mixed with amusement on his face. Our eyes meet in silent disbelief.

“I really can’t imagine.” I say. 

I’d like to report that he exploded on the spot like a blood engorged tick, but he did not, so regrettably, I cannot.

One response to “Best Buy in Beautiful Burbank

  1. I don’t Know how you manage to have such intersting life experiences. Anyway I am back from my vacation. Hope all has been wildly fun as usual

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