I‘ve been so busy lately there is never time to write. I’ll give all of my loyal spam robots something to scan.
So last month, my rich republican sister-in -law in sacramento thought it would be just grand to throw my dad a surprise birthday party for his 80th. he turns 80 on Nov 24th. Great idea, and an exciting one. But I thought to myself, what’s her angle here? Why is she doing this? She’s never displayed much interest in, or care for my parents. This despite a shared enthusiasm for the destruction of our planet at the hands of president Monkeynuts, whom they all adore. Anyway, I immediately booked a ticket and got a hotel room for Saturday nov 17th, the agreed upon date which all 8 kids and assorted spouses can all make. It would entail showing up at a local restaurant and surprising the pants off of him and my mom by having all 8 kids stroll in from Seattle, LA, Chicago, etc. All cool and groovy so far. Then, her angle came into the picture. Mrs Stepford bitch “decides” that she wants to hold the party up at their Sacramento pied-a terre in the country on two acres. Wouldn’t that just be lovely? And it would give her a chance to rub all of our noses in her wealth! Peachy! So I change my tickets from San Jose to Sacramento (ka-ching) and get a more expensive hotel room up there in republican land. Fuck.
THEN the bitch says ‘Why not just invite the whole fucking STATE to the party? After all, she says, theres plenty of parking on their estate. Her FUCKING DRIVEWAY will hold 20 to 30 cars. So all the while in these emails back and forth which I’m cc’d in on but remaining silent on, theres the back and forth about costs, caterers, shared cost estimates, table and chair rental costs, etc. and I’m not saying anything, waiting for her to spring the tab on us all.
$450.00 per sibling
FOUR HUNDRED and fifty fucking bucks! jumping jeebus on a pogo stick! I just don’t have that kind of money laying around. I’ve already spent almost $350.00 on tickets and hotel as it is. Of course I’ve got to pony it up, or I’ll never EVER hear the end of it.
To all of them, that kind of money is chump change. It definitely pays to be a republican.
Guess it’s going to be a KFC Thanksgiving and Christmas for me. Alone.