Family ties

Ive been so busy lately there is never time to write. I’ll give all of my loyal spam robots something to scan.

So last month, my rich republican sister-in -law in sacramento thought it would be just grand to throw my dad a surprise birthday party for his 80th. he turns 80 on Nov 24th. Great idea, and an exciting one. But I thought to myself, what’s her angle here? Why is she doing this? She’s never displayed much interest in, or care for my parents. This despite a shared enthusiasm for the destruction of our planet at the hands of president Monkeynuts, whom they all adore. Anyway, I immediately booked a ticket and got a hotel room for Saturday nov 17th, the agreed upon date which all 8 kids and assorted spouses can all make. It would entail showing up at a local restaurant and surprising the pants off of him and my mom by having all 8 kids stroll in from Seattle, LA, Chicago, etc. All cool and groovy so far. Then, her angle came into the picture. Mrs Stepford bitch “decides” that she wants to hold the party up at their Sacramento pied-a terre in the country on two acres. Wouldn’t that just be lovely? And it would give her a chance to rub all of our noses in her wealth! Peachy! So I change my tickets from San Jose to Sacramento (ka-ching) and get a more expensive hotel room up there in republican land. Fuck.

THEN the bitch says ‘Why not just invite the whole fucking STATE to the party? After all, she says, theres plenty of parking on their estate. Her FUCKING DRIVEWAY will hold 20 to 30 cars. So all the while in these emails back and forth which I’m cc’d in on but remaining silent on, theres the back and forth about costs, caterers, shared cost estimates, table and chair rental costs, etc. and I’m not saying anything, waiting for her to spring the tab on us all.

$450.00 per sibling

FOUR HUNDRED and fifty fucking bucks! jumping jeebus on a pogo stick!  I just don’t have that kind of money laying around. I’ve already spent almost $350.00 on tickets and hotel as it is. Of course I’ve got to pony it up, or I’ll never EVER hear the end of it.

To all of them, that kind of money is chump change. It definitely pays to be a republican.

Guess it’s going to be a KFC Thanksgiving and Christmas for me. Alone.


6 responses to “Family ties

  1. Popeye’s is better. Lucky for me, I don’t have any rich relatives. I make more than most of them and that ain’t saying much.

  2. Holy Shit Rich! Thats a lot of cash to fork out for a family bash! I know it was your dads 80th but WOW! All I can say is book your ticket now and you can spend Crimbo with us. Thats madness! If I had have been her I would not have taken any money of anyone. If your in that position to have that much money surely to god your natural instincts are to help those less well off. But then again she is Republican so I can totally see your point.

  3. Rich: 450 bucks is expensive! It seems to me that if your sister is that well-off, some generosity should have kicked in. CB

  4. republicans like that are well off simply because generosity never kicks in.

  5. sounds like she is looking make a profit. If I were you wi would fly up on a separate day and spend time with both parents. screw her party.

  6. If it was her idea and she’s gonna be the one getting all the benefits of showing off, she should pony up the dough. Period.

    Imagine inviting people to a party and then presenting them with the bill. I say give her the receipt for your flight and room and a benjamin and call it even.

    Of course, I can gloat… I’m an only child!

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